James Lawton: Keeping Mourinho Off the History Pages

Ruthlessness and efficiency guarantee Mourinho trophies but not lasting gloryHe is the reason for both their success and their now raging unpopularity

At this stage, you can’t help but begin to pity James Lawton. How he manages to waddle around with so much anti-Mourinho bile in his system must be the 8th wonder of the world. Obviously, this is a piece he’d prepared in the main for some other occasion – an occasion to crow and beat his puny chest as the seer who brought down the Portuguese irritant. But poor Fergie couldn’t keep his own side of the bargain – his creaky old bones couldn’t keep up with the sleek young swimmer who’s reached the beach, waiting to be hoisted high in celebration of another marvelous victory.

Of course, to normal people, such emotional investment in Fergie’s huffs, puffs, smoke and mind games may not be the most commonsensical thing (considering that Mourinho’s Chelsea aren’t Keegan’s Newcastle), but when you’re James Lawton whose hatred of Mourinho and anything Chelsea has blanched all reasoning, normal wouldn’t exactly be the right adjective to describe you. Really, what we have here is a terribly damaged man, feeling a little suicidal because his expected crowning moment has, in the short space of a week of Chelsea on-field blitzkrieg, become his actual drowning moment. Now, he thinks he’s got no other choice but to desperately and frustratingly lash out at his favourite bàªte noire, hoping forlornly that this would dampen the inevitable celebration that’s already in the air. I say the man deserves our pity and I mean it.

Actually, it would be interesting to sit Mr Lawton down to get him to explain what he means by “lasting glory”. That he’s now transformed himself into the sentinel to belatedly keep out the Mourinho legacy from the history pages must present an interesting study in the human-God metamorphosis. Is he so uninformed that even now he isn’t aware that Mourinho is already a history-maker? Doesn’t he have friends who should tell him that even if Mourinho in a fit of madness walks away from it all this very second, his place in history as one of the absolute best in his profession is eternally guaranteed? Isn’t it about time his editors begin the uncomfortable, but ultimately benign task of telling him that he needn’t try this hard to intellectualize his hatred for Mourinho since his childish motives are now crystal clear to even the bugs on his rocky bed?

James Lawton hates Mourinho because the latter has single-handedly changed the rule of media engagement in English football. Having tried his best, along with his claque of anti-Chelsea columnists, to get the man’s attention to no avail, Lawton resorts to football fantasy to convince the rest of the world that Mourinho is the anti-Christ, the killer of the Beautiful Game. Every Mourinho success is like a pike driven right through his harrowed heart. Indeed, it’s a real pity to hear him now plead desperately with Mr Abramovich to stop enjoying what he’s being served as football by Mourinho in a desperate bid to yank Chelsea off the success ladder.

Frankly, I really don’t want to spend too much time talking about this discredited piece of the unspeakable calling himself a journalist. It is enough that he acknowledges that Chelsea are the best team in all England and that Mourinho has made them so. Obviously, he desperately needs love, but since Chelsea don’t do love, or more specifically, the type of love craved by Lawton and the bow-wowing press, I suggest he shops elsewhere.

And, in case he hasn’t heard the news, Henry Winter is finally beginning to use his brain. I suggest Mr Lawton follows suit for the sake of self-preservation.