I'm absolutely enjoying this…

I’m using this post to call on our doubting fans to be as reasonably pessimistic as possible about our chances of retaining the Premiership crown. I want to know how they think we can really lose this by joining me to play a little number game. Personally, I’m actually enjoying this. Apart from the fact that I love the spectacle of a to-the-wire finish, it’s also sweet music to hear the fickle fans voice their discontent and show their usual fear once more. How they expect us to beat a team fighting for their lives when some of our fans have turned against our key striker and our team, at a time the whole world is against us, is beyond me.

Drogba scores two goals, wins man of the match award and you boo him in a misguided belief that you’re standing up for decency in football. He goes to Birmingham and behaves like the big skirt you say he is and you grumble. I thought the prayer of the boo-boys was for us to lose again at St. Andrew’s as we did at Craven Cottage! I thought they needed another opportunity to gleefully showcase their booing talents away as they’ve showed at home. Shame it was a draw. So now, they’re only grumbling in low tones. Their grouse now is that Man United are about to catch us and overtake us. It shows how far they’re removed from reality to think that anyone can catch Chelsea now, even if we have to stumble across the finishing line. We are winning The Double, The Double, yes, The Double!

Anyway, here is my simple calculation and projective analysis. There are 6 more games to go in the Premiership. Chelsea have West Ham(H), Bolton(A), Everton(H), Blackburn(A), Man United(H) and Newcastle(A). That means three home and away games. I cannot see us losing any more games this season, no matter what happens, not after the nightmare of being beaten by Fulham. West Ham, Bolton and Blackburn are teams fighting for European places, so they will be extra-motivated when facing us. But while I’d be generous to say Bolton and Blackburn could end in draws, I’m very confident we’ll beat West Ham at home, no matter the brand of attacking football they bring to the Bridge. Everton and Newcastle are six-pointers. They aren’t fighting for anything and I can’t see them taking anything from the games. I can’t see us losing our game at home against Man United. I think the best they can hope for is a draw at the Bridge. With 79 points now, plus my projected 12 (at least) from the remaining six games, we’ll be on 91 points.

And how about Man United? They have Arsenal(H), Sunderland(H), Tottenham(A), Middlesbrough(H), Chelsea(A) and Charlton(H). That means four home games and two away games. In my generosity, I can’t see them losing any more games this season as well, especially as they’ve possibly started thinking they can catch Chelsea and as the whole Chelsea-hating nation will be behind them. But even then, I can’t see them winning against us and Arsenal. The best they can expect in both games are draws. I also can’t see them winning both games against Tottenham and Middlesbrough. They’re bound to drop two points out of six at least in those. Spurs are fighting for a European place and with the defeat at Newcastle and Arsenal closing in right now, they will be desperate against any of their remaining opponents, Man United included. Boro have already beaten Arsenal, Man United and Chelsea this season; they won’t want to be turned over even at Old Trafford. The Boro boys know how to raise their games against the big boys. I give Man United the full six points against Sunderland and Charlton. Now, they’re on 72 points, so with the projected 12 points from my analysis here, they’ll have 84 points. This means, by my calculation, the gap at the end of the season cannot be less than the 7 it is now; so, Chelsea wins by at least 7 points.

But, I can be more pessimistic. Supposing I simply say Chelsea, even though I believe they can’t lose any more games this season, won’t be winning any more games? That will add 6 points only to our current 79 to give us 85 points. This means we’ll still beat Man United by one point to make Mourinho’s prediction come true! That’s the one I’d really love to happen. Let them think they have hope, burst their sinews to get there; then just as they think they’re about to do it, they come to the Bridge, take a point, but then would still be 3 points behind. I can even afford to further be generous to them and give them the full 6 points from their games with Spurs and Boro to put them just a point behind us after our game at the Bridge. They then welcome Charlton, get their champagne ready, only to get the news from St James’s Park that we are the ones due the champagne! I’d love it, but not the Keegan way though.

So, please, you ultra-pessimistic Chelsea fans, tell us how we’re going to lose this by playing the number game. Go on, tell us!