Everton 2-0 Chelsea - Sticky Toffees in a Handful of Tweets

The buildup

ChelseaAnalysis: Chelsea line-up vs. Everton: Cech - Bosingwa, Ivanovic, David Luiz, Cole - Essien, Meireles, Lampard - Sturridge, Torres, Mata.

ChelseaAnalysis: Chelsea subs vs. Everton: Turnbull, Cahill, Ferreira, Bertrand, Mikel, Malouda, Lukaku.

chelseafc: Chelsea are one win shy of 2,000 in all competitions. Let’s hope it comes today.

CFC_Clive: Sheer madness dropping Cahill to accommodate Bosingwa. Shouldn’t expect anything else though, really.

BluesChronicle: The tin whistle of Z Cars pipes up as the Everton & Chelsea teams march out at Goodison. Kick off 2 mins.

BluesChronicle: Total disbelief in the press box at Goodison about Suarez’ actions today. Even Liverpool fans among the press slating him.

The first half

chelseafc: We’re underway. Chelsea set up as 4-3-3, Everton 4-4-1-1.

chelseafc: A moment’s panic in the Chelsea area from a throw-in, but the referee blows for an infringement.

BluesChronicle: GOAL: Everton 1-0 Chelsea. Pienaar.

chelseaoffside: A fucking joke.

BluesChronicle: Everton 1-0 Chelsea: Lampard gives the ball away, Pienaar runs on and muscles off Ivanovic. Rifles into the roof of the net from 6 yds.

ChelseaRumours: They’ve scored too early - It’ll be a better game because of this.

chelseaoffside: I think we just need to get used to not being a very good football team.

BluesChronicle: Chelsea having a terrible start: already a goal down, and looking vulnerable every time Everton take the ball forward.

ChelseaAnalysis: I’ll be the first to set the record straight before we start banging on about AVB; an individual mistake, again, came from Lampard.

chelseafc: Chelsea enjoying possession but Everton are sitting back, pressing, and the Londoners are playing in front of them.

chelseafc: 12 gone, still trailing 0-1. Travelling Chelsea fans in good voice backing the team.

TheChelseaBlog: AVB looking over his shoulder there to see if Roman’s taking aim.

chelseafc: Patient build-up play is starting to find ways through the Everton ranks. Final ball not quite there. Still 0-1.

bridgeviews: Last five minutes, I think all Meireles has done is give the ball away.

bridgeviews: And Cech’s kicking/passing has been awful for weeks.

BluesChronicle: Landon Donovan picks the ball up in absolutely acres of space and shoots - Cech is there. Can we have some marking in this game please?

ChelseaAnalysis: Free-kick to Chelsea after a challenge from Neville on Sturridge.

ChelseaAnalysis: Good pressing from Chelsea lately. Resulted in several blocks from Everton’s defenders.

chelseafc: Torres is man-handled in the Everton box at a corner but the foul goes against him.

BluesChronicle: Bosingwa, on the right, twists and turns before putting in a cross that is inch perfect - for a goalkeeper in an empty box.

chelseafc: Period of decent pressure from the Blues, but Everton are blocking every shot at he moment.

BluesChronicle: Sturridge unleashes a rocket from the edge of the box, but it deflects off Heitinga and goes for a corner. The corner yields nothing.

ChelseaAnalysis: Good vision from Mata. Mata’s frequently seen on the right with Sturridge in the centre. Front three rotating.

ChelseaAnalysis: Lampard misses a sitter.

chelseafc: Mata again finds space behind on the right, and feeds Lampard, but the left foot shot is wide of goal. Remains 0-1.

chelseafc: Everton too easily worm their way through the Chelsea right, but the action is halted by an offside flag.

chelseafc: On the positive side, Juan Mata is looking clever and inventive, and seeing a lot of the ball.

ChelseaAnalysis: Mata wins a free-kick for Chelsea on the right.

chelseafc: High Essien cross looks comfortable for Howard until he drops it, only to react quickly and pounce on the loose ball.

BluesChronicle: Chelsea’s build-up play laboured & over-cooked. When the ball comes in, there is often nobody there. Or it is just off-target. Very poor.

chelseafc: Five to go till half-time and Chelsea are just becoming a little sloppy in their passing.

chelseafc: Meireles is booked for hauling back after his failed flick fell kindly for Everton.

ChelseaRumours: What a horrible first-half of football.

bridgeviews: Chelsea giving the ball away constantly. Another very below par performance so far. Tiresome.

chelseafc: A floated Bosingwa cross is met by the head of Torres but it is an easy take for Howard.

bridgeviews: Torres drives at the box and then, predictably, decides to do nothing with the ball and is tackled.

BluesChronicle: HT: Everton 1-0 Chelsea. Early sucker-punch goal from Pienaar, and Chelsea have created very little at all since.

The break

ChelseaRumours: HT: Everton 1-0 Chelsea - Horrible game thus far, absolutely crap.

BluesChronicle: Torres races to remonstrate with the ref on the whistle, and is told to go away. He doesn’t so is led away by Fellaini (for his own good).

BluesChronicle: Replays of Everton goal going round & round, Each time it shows move starting with a Chelsea throw from Bosingwa. Each time less believable.

chelseafc: The Chelsea players run out for the second half. Who’s going to be our hero under the floodlights today?

3adool94: I’ve been disappointed so many times this season that when we concede I don’t even get mad anymore. It’s expected.

BluesChronicle: Call me picky: but when a defender gives away an ‘assist’ for an opposition goal from his own throw-in, it may be time to look elsewhere.

The second half

chelseafc: Chelsea kick off. No changes on either side.

ChelseaAnalysis: Alright, second half underway. If we don’t score prepare yourselves for Malouda (pretty sure something none of us would like to see).

ChelseaAnalysis: Bosingwa booked for a foul on Pienaar.

chelseaoffside: Our service from the flanks is pathetic.

BluesChronicle: Remember our old friend, the ‘high line’. It is back (presumably because Terry is out). We have a defence like Swiss cheese.

chelseaoffside: I am going to lose my mind watching this.

chelseafc: Scrappy game at present, with lots of fouls and offsides. Chelsea still trail 0-1.

ChelseaAnalysis: This is torture.

BluesChronicle: Yellow for Torres. Mainly out of frustration.

chelseaoffside: Lukaku. ASAP.

ChelseaAnalysis: Things will get ugly for us if Everton get their second and it’s all going in that direction so far.

bridgeviews: Chelsea have been awful this 2nd half - even worse than first. Not controlling possession, not creating chances.

chelseafc: Chelsea failing to string any meaningful passes together right now. Will the manager make a change soon?

chelseaoffside: I’ve been pretty calm throughout this season but this may be the breaking point.

3adool94: A goal isn’t coming, looks like Torres is going to get sent off if he continues like this, nothing is working.

BluesChronicle: Ivanovic escapes a booking by the skin of his teeth. Malouda about to come on. Hmm.

ChelseaAnalysis: Bringing on Malouda and putting Mata in the centre should do.

BluesChronicle: Chelsea sub: Malouda on for Essien. What?!

bridgeviews: Ah, Malouda will save us.

CFC_Clive: Villas Boas is having a laugh.

BluesChronicle: Chelsea fans singing: “You don’t know what you’re doing.” Difficult to disagree.

Togaflex: I almost don’t want to equalize. We’ve been that bad & Everton fully deserve it. We’ve got some lucky points of late. Papering over cracks.

chelseayouth: Oh dear, 0-2.

bridgeviews: 2-0 Everton. Deserved. We’re awful. 4th place? You’re joking, right?

devinanand: I’m done. This match has crystallized my worst fears.

chelseafc: 2-0 to Everton. Stracqualursi capitalises on chaos in the Chelsea defence, curling round Bosingwa into the net.

OptaJoe: 2 - Before today Chelsea had won only two of their last 10 Premier League meetings with Everton. Hoodoo.

bridgeviews: Sturridge makes a run, takes on too much. But was there a Chelsea player who bothered to make the effort to go with him? Was there fuck.

BluesChronicle: Chelsea sub: Bertrand on for the injured Cole.

BluesChronicle: Chelsea sub: Lukaku on for Mata.

bridgeviews: This half: no chances created. Not even pressuring the Everton box. Absolutely woeful.

bridgeviews: Mata off? Why on earth? Can’t think of a reason not to join the AVB out bandwagon…

ChelseaAnalysis: I know this is getting ridiculous but really it’s a disgrace with those chants and utterly classless. Get behind your manager and the team.

chelseayouth: Immediate half chance for Lukaku after Bertrand’s cross. Still not really threatening though.

BluesChronicle: I’ve seen some poor performances from Chelsea this season, but this is in pole position for the title of the poorest. Dreadful stuff.

BluesChronicle: No fight, no passion, no pressing, no challenging, no creation, no idea at all today. Just not at the races.

ChelseaChadder: What exactly did AVB learn from Jose Mourinho?!

chelseafc: Chelsea trying to force a way through the Everton back line but the Toffees are resilient and quick on the break.

chelseafc: Defender Hibbert is coming on for midfielder Gibson. Everton still lead 2-0 with 2 mins left.

chelseaoffside: AVB is on watch in my household for the first time this season. This is inexcusable.

3adool94: If we had 90 minutes of stoppage time we still wouldn’t score.

MrNickThompson: Before the start of the game I was wondering if we could afford to sack Villas-Boas. Now I’m wondering if we can afford not to…

BluesChronicle: FT: Everton 2-0 Chelsea. Pienaar & Stracqualursi goal. “You don’t know what you’re doing” sing the Chelsea fans at AVB. Terrible performance.

chelseaoffside: And Arsenal rally. Rad. We’ll be wildly fortunate to finish fourth on this evidence.

The fallout

bridgeviews: So we blame the players, right? So the manager has nothing to do with motivating, instructing, coaching and inspiring them?

ChelseaAnalysis: We at Chelsea have had this mentality installed of ‘sacking the manager’ when things go wrong by our revolving door policy. Inappropriate.

ChelseaAnalysis: AVB mainly got everything wrong today, but does it merit sacking? Down to zero again. Look at the shit Arsenal have gone through.

BluesChronicle: AVB: “I think today was one of our worst games of the season. The worst in every sense of the word.”

BluesChronicle: AVB on fans chanting ‘you don’t know what you’re doing’: “It’s part of the job.”

AndrewTurmer: AVB should start criticising a few of our players. Defending the side at all costs has to come to an end at some point…

EastUpper3: You’re getting sacked in the morning sung by our fans…says it all. Hopeless performance.

The press reports

The Sunday Telegraph, Chris Bascombe: "Disorganised, limp and passionless would be some of the more charitable observations of the performance. And that was during one of their more encouraging periods."

The Independent on Sunday, Simon Hart: "The previous Chelsea manager to lose at Goodison Park did not get out of the ground with his job intact. That was Carlo Ancelotti on the final day of last season, and although Andre Villas-Boas, his successor, avoided the same fate last night, Chelsea's limp surrender will have done nothing to ease the pressure on the Portuguese. His team have taken only three points from their past four League fixtures and slipped out of the top four with this defeat, behind Arsenal on goals scored."

The Observer, Joe Lovejoy: "A leading London bookmaker refused a £20,000 bet on David Moyes to be the next Tottenham manager on Friday night, in the belief that it was a "done deal". The disappointed punter could well turn his attention to the Chelsea succession after Saturday's events at Goodison, which saw Andre Villas-Boas told by his own fans: "You don't know what you're doing," and taunted with "You're getting sacked in the morning" by the gleeful home crowd."

The Official Chelsea FC Website: "A poor result that doesn't help our hopes for a top-four finish, but in truth, our performance merited little else."

The goals

5' Pienaar 1-0 71' Stracqualursi 2-0

The Podding Shed - new episode tomorrow!

Our toilers on the allotment of life are planning on building a new Podding Shed tomorrow evening. In it they will discuss the sticky situation AVB now finds himself in.