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The Podding Shed #36: The Special One (97)

The Podding Shed #36: The Special One In which our toilers on the allotment of life discuss the return of Jose Mourinho to Stamford Bridge.

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  • Cunningplan

    Just listened to my first podding shed in a while guys.

    I would like to point out as much as I enjoy your views and ramblings on all things CFC and some other non related footballing stuff, I did get somewhat frustrated at the over analytical views and questions on JM’s return.

    Now I appreciate we are a quality blog with a very good range of views and extremely intelligent debate, but you appeared to be looking for things in this appointment that might or might not be there, it felt more like listening to a wake than a second coming.

    I appreciate that our recent history with managers is not good, and on that basis caution, pessimism and realism might well be the order of the day.
    Although I honestly believe that this time it might well be different, of course I have no scientific grounding to base that belief on. Also agree with Tony and Donal that he could be here for a good few years and create a dynasty, and also think we could win the Prem this year or go very close.

    So while the end of the podding shed seemed a bit more upbeat and optimistic you didn’t start well, perhaps that mirrors and typifies a normal Chelsea game, and season.

    Anyway enjoy your hols guys, it’s been a marathon season which has knackered us all.

    • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

      Fair comment.

      I did think it was good for us to look at the stuff that hadn’t really been considered anywhere else, such was the general ‘hallelujah!’ reaction to his return. I think we’re all pretty happy that he’s back, but sufficiently long in the tooth and cynical enough to see past all the euphoria and ponder the whys and wherefores of it all.

      The one thing that Mourinho does is cause debate – and lots of it – I think that it’s almost certain we’ll be talking about him a lot more in the months (and years) to come.

      I hope it all works out as we want it to, but ultimately this is Chelsea so I say expect the unexpected!

      • Cunningplan

        Yes JD; it was very good of you all to discuss what hadn’t been considered, but also being a cynic I know that the same things will be discussed ad nauseam by all his detractors over the coming weeks/months/years.

        I got the the feeling you all felt a bit more optimistic (excluding Tony as he was optimistic from the start) at the end of the podcast and certainly welcomed his arrival.

        I will pick up on one thing that Mark mentioned about being hated for winning not for the wrong reasons with JM and controversy. The Reading ambulance situation rant by JM was misunderstood. He wasn’t having a dig at the delay, because there wasn’t one, they arrived within the 15 minutes set out in their guidelines in responding to an emergency, if my memory serves me correctly.

        His argument was that there should have been an ambulance and Paramedics with all the relevant equipment at the ground to make sure that anything as serious as Cech’s injury could be dealt with far more effectively. I think you’ll find from that, that the FA and Premier League suits agreed and we’ve had those facilities at grounds since then, I’m sure Fabrice Muamba will be eternally grateful.

        Anyway could I please make another suggestion, we’ve had 36 podding sheds with the same format, and as mentioned I’ve enjoyed the ramblings and views of all four of you.
        It would be nice if you spiced it up a bit, perhaps with some of our other contributors/bloggers BBD, LTB and PeteW to name but a few, if they would be willing to contribute with their views via Skype. I’ve enjoyed reading their well thought out scribblings over the years and I’m sure they could do the same via the Podding Shed.

        • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

          Didn’t pick on the Reading ambulance point, but yes, it did ultimately change the way things were set up in terms of medical support at football grounds. In all honesty I can’t remember that much about the hoo-ha it caused at the time.

          And there are plans afoot for a few changes when we come back in August… :-)

        • mark_25

          To spice it up we are going to video it next season and Tony is willing to record naked. Is this what you’re after?

          • Cunningplan

            I think for pure comedic value, it would be far better for any middle-aged portly men to be wearing Bradley Wiggins type lycra, never fails to raise a laugh.

          • GrocerJack

            Giving away secrets again Mark.I’m minded to do it with strategically placed groceries to ensure no embarassment or jealosy amongst you all….

    • Kennedy Emetulu

      You are right, man. But I’m harder on them. There’s nothing redeeming in that podcast, except the informed view of Tony.

  • Blueboydave

    I thought the Shedders hit a pretty fair balance between pleasure at TSO’s return and worry/ cynicism that it will go tits up all too soon again.

    I’m feeling slightly less peeved at our trigger-happy suits after reading recently somewhere that the departure of Lord Ferg, Moyes and Tony Pulis from their long-term posts has brought down the current average tenure of an EPL manager to about a year and a half.

    Even more telling is the fact that on opening day of the new season, Wenger and Alan Pardew will be the only 2 EPL managers who’ve been in their current post for 2 full years.

    Truly, we are in the age of succeed or die.

    • Cunningplan

      “I thought the Shedders hit a pretty fair balance between pleasure at
      TSO’s return and worry/ cynicism that it will go tits up all too soon
      again.”

      You’re wrong it was nowhere near balanced! ;-)

      Just thought we should get confrontational on the blog to marry up with JM and his forthcoming battles.

  • buddha9

    I think you guys got it wrong — i reckon he’s here for the long-term — he’s had enough of charging round Europe -he’s won what he wanted –now the last challenge is to build something long-term — he’s also much more flexible than people think and he likes to coach — i think he’ll be here 10 years — as for the timing is he right — i think he’s absolutely right he said it himself these are young players who need a great manager to develop them – this is why i supported Rafa because he was simply more experienced that RDM didn’t mean i liked the guy — jose’s done the job in europe that clubs hired him for — plenty of managers found madrid a sink-hole managers there are lower in the pegging order than the water boy – i think he did a good job there given the history of managerial failure but he wants to be here — he wants stability imo – the club does too – think its a perfect fit right now and i wouldn’t be to carried away by the nonsense in the press — Dalgish and Jose is not a honest comparison.

    • Kennedy Emetulu

      Thank you, Buddha! Said it all, really!

  • Kennedy Emetulu

    ..

    Apart from Tony, I don’t seem to understand the language of the rest you in that podcast….Mark, what the fcuk are you on about? I can’t believe some of you are sitting here making a song and dance about the so-called Mourinho’s fights with every flying rabbit! If
    you want the Pope for a manager, go get him! After all, we hear he loves football! Cunningham’s assessment of what you guys were doing there is absolutely spot on. I’ll just add it’s all self-indulgent on your part, because not even one percent of Chelsea fans here in the UK or worldwide shares half of that uncharitable view of Mourinho.

    Look, I’m all for honest and free expression of opinion about Chelsea, even if you are a fan and I respect anyone who stands up for their views no matter the opposition, because that’s the way
    I am. But it’s quite another thing when an important agency of fans’ empowerment like this sites’ podcast becomes an agent of hubris! This podcast should not lend itself to this type of stuff! People listen to it to get energised, not demoralised for being Chelsea fans for God’s sake! I mean, every Arsenal, Man U, Man City, Spurs and Liverpool fan I know cannot hide their envy
    on the return of the Special One to Chelsea and here we have a panel of supposed Chelsea fans treating Mourinho’s reappointment as the second coming of the devil! So, success is now a curse that we should run away from it, because it will come wrapped and tangled in tangoes with football establishment or with Mourinho making faces at the referees or opposition managers? I can’t see any Chelsea fans being proud of this podcast nor would they recognise the consensus
    there as anything other than desperate and bitter pessimism that has no basis in reality! Puke-worthy!

    ….

    • Onthefence

      “Disclaimer: The views, opinions, rants and rambles expressed are personal to the contributors and do not reflect the official viewpoint of Chelsea Football Club or any other organisations discussed. ” – that says it all too – everyone is entitled to their own opinion surely!

      • Kennedy Emetulu

        Onthefence,

        Thank you for your comment. The Disclaimer you are drawing to my attention is there only for legal purposes. But no one is suing Mark and co for speaking their mind about Jose or Chelsea, because as you rightly pointed out, these are their opinions. As far as those opinions are not libellous, they bear no legal liability. But they do have communal or group liability or responsibility and here, it comes in two parts.

        Firstly, this is a social network site, a public site for public discussion. It means opinions tendered as part of information, debate or entertainment must be open to criticisms and praise that come from analyses. It is the responsibility of the
        expressers of such opinions to defend their views against any other if so challenged. That is the essence of a public exchange. You are free to speak; you are free to criticise speech and you must accept that you cannot enjoy one freedom and reject the other. Of course, no one is saying you need to be happy when you’re criticised, but you need to respect the right of others to do so. As I said, it doesn’t stop you from responding to criticisms in continued defence of your view. It’s all part of normal public debate/exchange.

        Secondly and more importantly (at least as it concerns us), we are not just here as some random individuals, we are united here by the love of our club and membership of its fan-base. The operators of this blog will tell you that there are thousands of fans worldwide who depend on this blog for their daily Chelsea experience and Chelsea news. It could be a schoolboy donning a Lampard top somewhere in Kiribati or an old fellow nestling in the Himalayas. They are far removed from the hurly-burly of London and all they know about Chelsea and Mourinho’s return is from here. Now, can you imagine such persons listening to Chelsea fans speak as though we are about to step on a landmine and burn up the universe because Mourinho is back?

        Yes, we all have a right to freedom of expression, the right to free speech and as I pointed out in my first post, I respect that. But this blog is a trust. Yes, even though it’s all set up by one Chelsea fan as an expression of his passion, because it’s a media outlet, it is trust. It’s a trust for Chelsea fans and community of Chelsea supporters who look up to it for guidance and who relate to it as an influential shaper of opinions about Chelsea. When you are given the opportunity to speak to Chelsea followers through a radio programme, it’s an absolute honour. You handle that responsibility with the sanctity and seriousness it deserves. You don’t go there espousing your extreme minority view as though it’s some academic engagement with mutants! Football is tribal; it’s a friendly war, but it’s damn competitive even amongst fans! We are fans of Chelsea football club, not monks!

        We use these page to energise and encourage ourselves in support of our club! We use it to win others over to our cause! There is nothing in that podcast, save for Tony’s heroic contributions that tells me that it’s an inspirational session at a time we are trying to galvanize every fan behind our club, at a time when the usual suspects are already drawing out their long knives to butcher us on account of Jose! How can I come to a Chelsea site and find its panel more anti-Mourinho than any other opposition website I’ve been when we are yet to even kick a ball? What would it look like when Mourinho begins to send out the troops to go claim us some honour?

        • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

          Kenn,

          
I started the podcast just over a year ago and Mark is on it because he has followed Chelsea through thick and thin for many years, is thoughtful, witty and most importantly is never afraid to express views
          different to those of the majority – a rare and valuable thing when you’re following something as tribal as a football club. I suspect that he has covered more miles and forgotten more about supporting Chelsea than you will ever know.

          We express differing and occasionally critical views because we love Chelsea and have nothing to prove in terms of our support for it. When it comes to supporting the club, I think you’ll find the participants of the podcast (and indeed this blog) generally follow the club home and away
          and contribute on here regularly.

          Your contribution, however, is to turn up once every pink moon as Mourinho’s representative on earth and bore everyone senseless
          with endless verbiage telling people where they are wrong and apparently what this blog and the podcast can and can’t be used for.


          I find this appallingly arrogant and insulting in the extreme. We will say what we want. We have no responsibility to anyone as opinion formers, to ‘energise and encourage’ or to win anyone over to ‘the cause’. Frankly had you listened to any of the other 35 podcasts that preceded this one you’d have realised that sanctimony and seriousness are about as far from our minds as the horrific possibility of Mourinho having any faults seems to be from yours.

          If Nick didn’t like it, he wouldn’t publish it. If you don’t like it, then kindly crawl back from under whichever stone you have been hiding under for last few years. Either that, or apply for a job at the club’s PR department – if you could cut down the length of your press releases by a few thousand words I’m sure you’d be just what they are looking for.

          Please save your energy and don’t bother with the standard 14 paragraph reply as it will neither be read nor receive a response. If you wish to discuss what I’ve said here or on the podcast, I can let you know which pub I drink in prior to home games. Mark might even be there too, if you haven’t had the Chelsea thought police arrest him for crimes against the club.

          Either way, I’m sure that we’d be more than happy to tell you what we think of your flatulent, preaching over-inflated pomposity and sense of self-importance in person.

          • mark_25

            @ Der_Kaiser, whilst overall I like your response, before I commit to your last two paragraphs do you know how big Kennedy Emetulu is?

          • Kennedy Emetulu

            Pffffffft! I’ve got a see a shrink asap!

          • Kennedy Emetulu

            Der_Kaiser, now you lighten up and stop assuming things you don’t know about me. I have expressed my opinion of your view and you have a right to defend the view as you have done. Don’t get your knickers twisted buddy; I’m not writing to impress you! CHEERS!

    • mark_25

      I know I’m in the minority but I also know I’m not alone. If you want to listen to the party line to get energised you might be better off subscribing to Chelsea TV. There they will sack presenters for not towing the party line. I’m delighted for you that your excited by the return of the Special One. Can’t help it if it doesn’t excite me.

      Perhaps before the next podcast you could send me a script so I can tell you what you’d prefer to hear?

      • Kennedy Emetulu

        That is the problem with your over-constipated view of life, Mark – the utter selfishness and lack of responsibility for others, the inability or unwillingness to properly read a situation and know when to pull together with others. It’s got to be about you and your sanctified views of right and wrong, propriety and non-Portuguese coaches who foul the air you breathe! You think it’s about someone muzzling you, you think it’s about some party officials wanting you to toe a party line, you think support for Chelsea with your heart and soul is a diminution of your freedom. Oh, of course you support Chelsea with all your heart, but only as you like it and only as you have defined it to the exclusion of all other Mourinho-worshipping hoi polloi who are obviously a different breed of Blue from you! You, the Great Chelsea Army of One or Two! Nice!

        ..

        • mark_25

          Yikes!

          It is noticeable that the Mourinho lovers demand all Chelsea fans to show similar devotion to the Special One, blessed be he, akin to religious zealots from Tudor times.

          So what you’re saying is I should have gushed love for Mourinho, even though I don’t feel it. so as not to spoil your party? Are you one of these who wants fans ejected who fail to stand when you start singing “Stand up, if you hate Tottenham ..”?

          Look the truth is I know I’m in the minority. What was meant to happen was the other three were going to be pro Mourinho and I was going to give a bit of balance by being indifferent (which is what I am, not anti, just indifferent). How was I to know that two out of the three had empathy with my views! Maybe my minority isn’t as small as I thought?

          I want Chelsea to be successful under Mourinho. I was one of the few who wanted success under Benitez. I want Chelsea to be winning and be fun. For me every credit of Mourinho is countered by a debit so my emotional trial balance is zero, hence indifference.

          If you’re saying I’m not allowed to express this feeling and this blog only allows positive Mourinho opinions then clearly I’m on the wrong blog.

          • Kennedy Emetulu

            ..

            Mark,

            No one expects you to love Mourinho, but do not disrespect him! You may have said you are indifferent to him or to his appointment, but your accompanying comment was insulting and disrespectful! Go listen to yourself and your sick insults against him and Portuguese people!

          • mark_25

            But it’s ok to sing “You’re just a fat Spanish waiter” or even worse insults re Wenger?

            Lighten up Kennedy, I’ve got nothing against the Portuguese, my gardener comes from Portugal. The podcast is meant to have a bit of fun and humour. Surely there’s isn’t anyone whose spirits don’t deflate when AVB starts talking?

          • Kennedy Emetulu

            ..

            This Mark! (Kenn sighs!)….Okay, go give your gardener a hug and ask for his forgiveness this minute! Nice weather for a cool beer too, so have one, ‘cause I’ll be having one meself! Early I know, but it helps work and digestion!

            ..

  • Cunningplan

    Come on guys my initial comment on the podcast wasn’t intended to spark an argument on peoples personal opinions. I just thought that Jonathan was just (in my opinion) a little too analytical in his questions which he did respond to with, “Fair Comment”

    Considering Jose is a bit of a Marmite character, you either love or hate him, to find Mark having an indifferent/neutral view is quite refreshing, as a matter of fact he’s the only one I know who has expressed that view.

    I don’t understand how you can be neutral with regard Jose, perhaps this coalition can pass legislation making it acceptable, just like gay marriage. ;-)

    • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

      Perfectly fair comment mate – sadly there are those who seem to believe that we shouldn’t express different views. Dealt with that below.

  • GrocerJack

    Turn my back for 5 minutes and all hell breaks loose…..
    The ‘Jose’ effect is well and truly back in town :)

    • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

      It won’t be dull, that’s for certain…!

    • Kennedy Emetulu

      Yep, and I’m going to kill Der_Kaiser for not showing me love! Humph!

      • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

        Bring it on, I’ll take you and your thesaurus.

        • mark_25

          but you still haven’t told me if he’s got a big thesaurus!

          • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

            :-)

          • Kennedy Emetulu

            Hmmm….Be careful what you ask for, Mark! It’s not called a Thesaurus for nothing!

        • Kennedy Emetulu

          Pffffffff! You’ve hurt my feelings….I’m diversifying to sign language!

          • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

            There you go – you can do humour after all ;-)

  • Kennedy Emetulu

    ..

    This was an article in the Eurosport’s Early Doors’ column sometime ago. For those who do not understand our issue with Rafa, I tried to explain it here in my rejoinder:

    http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/blogs/early-doors/chelsea-thankful-ve-got-001238267.html

    “Which other group of fans would sing the name of their preferred manager while their current boss is on the brink of taking them to a European final, harbouring a petty grudge over an act of mind-games several years previously?” – ED

    What a poor, poor, uninformed piss we’ve got here! Okay, a whole nation may be writing ED, but whoever wrote this very one needs to be flushed down the hole for a bit of a swim. And when he or she gets back, if he/she gets back, they should start their commentary all over with the great sport of pillow-fighting until we’re sure they’ve got something to offer here before welcoming them back!

    Listen, let me break it down for you ED, there are mind-games and there is Disrespect! You get that? Every real fan of any club understands mind-games and enjoys them even where they are the roasted party. Mind-games are part of the beauty of the sport; it’s the sweet crunchy dessert that lingers sweetly in the mouth after all the heavily titrated bitterness of the huffing and puffing is gone! But Disrespect? No fan forgets that! Roman may have the fattest wallet in the Chelsea yard and he can buy himself three dozen pieces of Disrespects to wash his car, light his cigar,
    trim his beard and run the club; but it’s our club too. When Disrespect walks into Stamford Bridge, all smiles, all ready to take us to glory, we’ll take the banner of glory, but call him by his name! Yes, we will raise the Blue Flag he’s hatefully immortalised on a plaque in Anfield and tell him where to take his wares! Rafa Benitez is beneath Chelsea and he knows! He is not a fit and never will be a fit!

    Now, let me paint you a picture. Mourhino and Sir Alex engaged in some of the stormiest mind-games ever in the Premiership. From squeaky bums to the ‘Swan in Scotland’, they played it all. Once those conductors had tuned the bands, Chelsea fans and Man U fans followed in hand to
    hand combats, pitch battle to pitch battle, defending their grounds in these great battles of the mind. But the deep respect between both managers was never hidden and the respect of the Man U fans for Mourinho and Chelsea fans for Sir Alex was real and remains so. That is why today, if Mourinho were to be appointed a successor to Sir Alex, Manchester will not see a celebration that big in a long time. The same thing can be said of Wenger and Mourinho, even
    though that relationship arguably boasted edgier mind-games than those with Sir Alex. But the managers never lost respect for each other. Again, if Mourinho were to be appointed to succeed Wenger at the Emirates, North London will welcome him gladly with both hands. Why, because both sets of fans and managers know the difference between mind-games and Disrespect.

    Now you say you know football and supporters enough to consider Chelsea fans’ treatment of Benitez odd? Good, here’s a riddle. What do you think will happen in Manchester if Benitez were to be appointed Sir Alex’s successor or in North London if he were to be appointed to replace Wenger? Send me your answer in a postcard!

    The moral of this story? If you’ve identified The Problem, don’t make him a victim. In 2007, Rafa, King of Anfield insultingly swore he’d never ever take the job of Chelsea manager, but five years later, out of job and flapping about, he grovelled to be appointed an interim manager of the same club. He took the job to win both ways. If it works, it spruces up his CV; he bombs, he picks up his fat cheque and blames Chelsea fans ‘harbouring a petty grudge over an act of mind-games several years previously’, as you have conveniently framed it for him. And what does all this mean? It means there cannot be a better definition of shameless opportunism than Rafa. C’mon, the man’s earned the Disdain! Let him lead the boys to win us the EUROPA trophy, for we are the Chelsea and we are supreme! And we’ll keep the Blue Flag flying high, flying high, up in the sky! We’ll keep the Blue Flag flying high from Stanford Bridge to Amsterdam! We’ll keep the Blue Flag flying high!

    Yeah, we know where we are going and we have the perfect man for that journey! He is the Special One and when he comes, even you, ED, would be happy!

    ..

  • Cunningplan

    Should I call Social Services? with all this in house Chelsea family abuse

    • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

      Chelsea aggro!

    • Kennedy Emetulu

      Cunningplan, with the way you are dressed, you look like the first candidate for Social Services intervention. We’ll come on supervised visits….With our plastic flags and tin hats….

  • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

    This is the most popular a Podding Shed post has ever been. Take a bow, fellow shedders…

    • Cunningplan

      So it was purely done for the ratings then?

      • Kennedy Emetulu

        Hahahaahahahaha! For the brand thing, yeah….

      • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

        Nick is currently sitting in his lair, cat on lap chuckling quietly to himself as his masterplan unfolds…

        • Cunningplan

          Shouldn’t we all now click on the Amazon link at the bottom of the main page and buy our replica shirts for the season?

          I’m easily led and influenced by the masses.

          • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

            Yes, it will help galvanise us all for the long and glorious march to victory with the Special (cont. p94)

        • Kennedy Emetulu

          From all indications, he isn’t chuckling that quietly; I can hear him….

      • GrocerJack

        Well, that and the brand. We have very specific KPIs for the podcast which form part of our SLA with the great Chelsea audience demographic….
        etc etc etc
        *Goes off to shoot myself*

        • Blueboydave

          Management-speak Bollocks Alert…Management-speak Bollocks Alert….

          Sorry, the upgrade on my Made-up Media Bollocks Bullshit Detector came with some built-in extras I haven’t worked out how to turn off yet ;-)

  • bluebayou

    “I can do nothing else; here I stand; so help me God! Amen.”

    Yes, I find myself reaching for the words (or a translation thereof) spoken by Martin Luther at the Diet of Worms in 1521 as my only defence against the accusations of heresy and unsound thought being hurled by the listenership.

    Mind you as I’ve not been named by any of the accusatory parties I’ll assume that I might get off with a few years hard labour while Mark (and JD?) suffers public disembowelment and breaking on the wheel. On the other hand, because I’m not directly absolved either, my lights , lungs and associated paraphernalia may soon be on public display so I’d better book in for one of those colonic irrigations.

    If the tenor of this week’s Shed was a little too downbeat or understated for some, well thanks for the feedback, it is appreciated. I don’t believe we’ve ever pretended to be anything other than four miserable bastards wittering on about Chelsea. Up until now it seemed there was a niche in the market for such an approach. But I now see that a more “Peoples Republic of North Korea crowd applauding a fat bespectacled bloke with bad hair” style cheeriness is the way forward.

    For my part, I tells it hows I sees it and tend as a rule to shy away from investing too much hope in anything or anyone. Oh yes, too often have I walked the rainy boulevard of broken dreams, as the passing traffic of fate drowns me in the spray of bitter disillusion. If miserablist fatalism has had its day I may be reduced to providing the occasional musical interlude and making the tea.

    I’m happy for those whose days are uplifted by JM’s return. I also think that there’s nothing wrong with stepping back and taking a more dispassionate view of the recent events and prospects for the future.

    On a personal note, while I may not share Mark’s level of enthusiasm for more of Benitez, the depth of his scepticism about aspects of JM’s behaviour or his fear of Portuguese accented English, his preoccupation with these matters means he’s not questioning my undying devotion to Waitrose and other cohorts of the John Lewis retailing empire.

    And this can only be a good thing.

    • Cunningplan

      Actually I wanted to blame you for the whole podding shed fiasco, but after taking some dodgy legal advice I settled on JD.

      • bluebayou

        What started as an enjoyable, if somewhat frustrating episode (to paraphrase your earlier observations) is now at the status of a “fiasco”.

        I sense your absence from the blog has been because you have been attending a Tabloid/Talk Radio news management course……..which you obviously passed with flying colours ;-)

        • Cunningplan

          I think fiasco is quite tame, although I was tempted to raise it to GATE level!

      • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

        I blame Torres.

        • Cunningplan

          Troll!

    • Kennedy Emetulu

      ..

      Okay, okay, for buying your eggs in Waitrose and for being so touchingly remorseful, the Great Chelsea People’s Party (GCPP) forgives you. The People’s Commissar (PC) shall be coming over to measure you for your labour suit and give you free media training before the next podcast.

      Thank you, Comrade!

      ..

  • Ramone

    I confess to have listened to all the Podding Sheds, I don’t expect our hosts to play like 1970 Brazil every week and inevitably I find some episodes more entertaining / thought provoking than others – episode 11 topping my personal PS hit parade, along with Donal on Bontempi organ as the late great Frank Sidebottom.

    I am happy that these chaps choose to give up their time to put the podcast out there. And I thank them for that. I choose to listen because although I don’t agree with everything that is said, my life is a little more fun as a result.

    But at the end of the day (not meaning to belittle the efforts of the contributors) it’s just a podcast. If it didn’t provoke any reaction then it wouldn’t be worth listening to – and if you don’t like it, then stop listening to it and do something else you enjoy more..

    • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

      Thanks for the kind words. Sometimes it’s like watching Brazil, at other times Bolton.

      Oh, and Donal will be reintroducing his organ for the new season. We’ll be back in August and will not be sticking to the script…

  • Blueboydave

    Perhaps it’s a result of the cold weather we’ve been having, but I was shocked when skimming the football gossip this morning to see that the hardiest perennial of the summer transfer window, The Lesser-Spotted-Kaka-for-Chelsea Rumour appears to have been supplanted by a Kaka-To-Return-to-Milan story.

    Is there no sense of tradition left in football?

    • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

      Alas, the world is changing. And I can’t even keep up it all on Ceefax any more.

  • Cunningplan

    It’s all gone quiet in here, is there anything I could type that will start some trouble again?

    • Onthefence

      Ooooh, how about “Mourinho should sell Luiz” ;)

  • Day Tripper

    I haven’t even had time to listen to the podcast yet but I will still congratulate you guys on initiating what has been an interesting debate, and for the blog generally. Open debate and diversity of view is always a healthy thing. For my part, I am in the camp of those who don’t view the Mourinho reunion as such a good idea. Mourinho seems even more inclined than before to pick a fight with all and sundry, and although it is more difficult to read RA, I don’t suppose he has morphed into some kind of all-purpose peace envoy. I think I am right in saying that couples who separate and then marry each other again, are just as likely to get divorced as any other married couple. However Mourinho may well be the best bet for short term success, and the club may well have felt there were no other viable options. I would have liked to see a manager given the time to take a longer view – one who would slowly bring through this crop of promising youngsters that we have – but there is no point in appointing such a manager and then not stick with him, (as we didn’t with AVB).

    • Kennedy Emetulu

      ..

      I am not saying people who don’t like Jose should suddenly now start throwing flowers at his feet, but he is the Chelsea manager now and people better get used to it, because he’s going to be here for a long time. He will only be leaving Chelsea to manage his national team sometime in the far off future, perhaps when he’s in his sixties. He may not have won the Champions League with Madrid, but he’s achieved all there is to achieve
      in club football and that hunger for adventure is satiated. He’s the most decorated manager in world football today and no matter what anyone says, he’s earned it. There’s nothing for him to prove again. With Chelsea it’s about love and personal stability as his children grow older. Of course, he’s not exactly going to change his style, because that’s why he’s Jose. He’s no hypocrite. If he mellows, he’s going to do so naturally with age, not because some management ventriloquist somewhere has made that a condition to take a job or remain in a job. Mourinho is too much of his own man to accept any of that crap. Any fan who doesn’t like his style is welcome to his own protest banner in the stands.

      What his return indicates is that Abramovich has realized he made a mistake to let him go the first time. At that time also, Roman was relatively new to the football business, so he was prone to bad advice from some careerists and self-serving persons in his employ. People who are close to the courtship that led to Jose’s return would tell you it’s taken sometime. Indeed, his return has been on the cards since he left Inter Milan. He just had to go to Madrid and satisfy a personal goal. Now, that’s been achieved and a return to Chelsea is about the consolidation of his legacy with the club he really loves. Of course, anything can happen in the world of football. This new ‘marriage’ may hit the rock over any issue; but as things are, that possibility is remote. Abramovich understands Mourinho and what makes him tick and Mourinho understands Abramovich and what he wants. They’ve talked like men and both know where they’re taking the club. I trust Abramovich, because even when he makes mistakes, he never let that mistake stop Chelsea from the path of glory and I trust Mourinho, because he’s Mourinho whose love for Chelsea is not hidden and who still has a burning ambition to achieve great things in management.

      It’s obvious why Abramovich has gone for Mourinho. He wants an Alex Ferguson figure for the club as he embarks on the next stage of taking the club to the next level. Abramovich is a football revolutionary who has studied the terrain very well and who is now ready to do the next big thing with Chelsea. He wants to grow our fan base worldwide and move the club to bigger grounds. He needs someone he trusts and who’s guaranteed to bring success and stability to the club while all this is happening. He trusts Mourinho, he knows he can bring success and as for stability, Abramovich knows that depends on him himself and not Mourinho. Abramovich realizes that once he leaves Mourinho to get on with things, much like Moratti left him to do at Inter, he would be fine. Abramovich wants to concentrate on other things (politics and business) while enjoying his football. He’s tested many men and it’s Mourinho he’s entrusting with his football empire. As the overwhelming choice of the fans and as a serial success machine, he knows we’ll be fine.

      Obviously, all of us are conjecturing, at least to an extent. I know I am. No one really knows for sure what is in store, not even Abramovich or Mourinho. But there is informed conjecture and mere conjecture. Anyone reading the signs and body language would know that Mourinho is here now for the long haul. He has decided to plant his legacy firmly with the club he loves and that is Chelsea. Those who still doubt him now, those who don’t like him now will come around. Exciting times are here! C’mon Chelsea!

  • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

    Club are streaming Jose’s press conference live at 13.30 – link as follows:

    http://www.chelseafc.com/live-press-conferences

  • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

    Jose – I am the happy one… The first time I arrive at a club where I already love the club.

  • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

    I keep reading I was fired, we had a complete breakdown in our relationship. That is not true. It was a mutual agreement.

  • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

    More responsibility, higher expectations… Special fanbase… Want to be loved for what I can do from now.

  • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

    50 – still young as a manager. Different personality – no. Different approach, different perspective.

  • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

    You know my history. I just want to be calm. I just want to be working everyday. Giving the best I can. I think I am in my best period… sorry that pre-season doesn’t start tomorrow.

  • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

    I wanted to go where I really like it very very much… cannot say which press I prefer, but you are not the worst…

  • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

    Most important part of my job at the moment is improvement of the boys.

  • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

    Wenger is there and I’m happy he is.

    (so are we, Jose…)

  • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

    Champions League not an obsession for me or Chelsea.

  • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

    I am where I want to be and I wouldn’t change it for anything. (answer to whether he was disappointed in not being offered the City or United jobs).

  • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

    Re Iniesta’s criticism that he ‘damaged’ Spanish football. ‘I damaged Spanish football by being the manager that broke Barca’s dominance.’

    • NorthernVA

      He’s speaking the truth! While his Madrid team (a poor man’s Chelsea circa ’04) knocked them off their perch in La Liga his old Chelsea spine (proper legends) bounced them out of Europe. Happy Days are here again!!!

  • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

    Not the world’s most thrilling press conference – TV reporters asking very tedious questions.

  • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

    All over. Let’s hope the print hacks can come up with some more inspiring questions as that was really quite dull.

  • mark_25

    I think Jose was going out of his way to be as low key as possible.

    Journalists seem incapable of asking anything other than the crass and banal. Generally pre and post every match they ask the same questions. If I was a manager I’d refuse to answer questions that weren’t both novel and interesting.

    I wonder how it feels to be a “Happy One”?

    • Kennedy Emetulu

      Happy! It feels Happy to be a Happy One! Jose says he’s been so Happy that all he’s plotted ever since he was sure of his Second Coming was how to contain his Happiness in front of the media! I think he pulled it off! Hehe!

    • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

      We are all happy ones now.

    • Cunningplan

      I can send you some Prozac Mark, it does work. ;-)

  • sleeping in my chelsea jersey

    I think it was intentionally low key! Little bit dissapointed some of the spanish players are coming out and saying he did nothing for Spanish football in his 3 years!

    • Kennedy Emetulu

      ..

      Sleeping,

      Of course, it was intentionally low-key. Mourinho has stated in the past week how he’s been practicing trying to keep his emotion in check since his return was confirmed. The press conference was just part of that attempt. It doesn’t mean he’s lost any of his
      sparkle nor does it mean we wouldn’t be having some fireworks at future press conferences or on the touchline when the season is in full adrenalin-fuelled swing. This act is just for the moment. There is no Mellow Peril in the offing, I can assure you! Hehe!

      The attitude of the Barcelona bunch to Mourinho should surprise no one. They are an irredeemably undisciplined bunch and Mourinho is their nemesis. Did you not remember the show of shame they put up in March 2005 before the return leg against us at the Bridge after the Frisk debacle at the Nou Camp? Did you not remember how the whole dressing room, coaching staff and even their president, Joan Laporta openly lined up in the Spanish press to call Mourinho choice names until Gudjohnson, Lampard, Duff and Terry silenced them at the Bridge?

      You see, this is the thing people do not know about the Barcelona dressing room. This indiscipline they’re showing openly in the form of attacking Mourinho is what they show
      inside the dressing-room to their own coaches. But while they’re winning, it’s covered up and every coach has had to endure it, just as they were doing at Madrid before Mourinho came and called their bluff. This was exactly why Rijkaard had to leave Barcelona. This was why Guardiola ran away, because this attitude made their victories under him hollow. This affected him to the extent that he actually took off to clear his head with a sabbatical. He was a wimp. Like him, this is what Vilanova is facing now and he is likely to end up the same way.

      So, really, these players are only showing their true colour to the world in the guise of fighting Mourinho. They are angry because one bold manager has exposed their underbelly. Any young manager should learn from this. Player power only works if you give in to the antics of these overpaid twats. Once you challenge them, they show exactly their true fickle selves, whether in Madrid or Barcelona. I mean, what is the Barca boys’ problem? First, Casillas calls them up to dish out dirt on Mourinho and his team. They lapped it all up and hoped to use it when they meet on the field of play. Come play day one, play day two, play day three Casillas was not between the sticks and Mourinho’s selection trashed Barca in all three encounters. So, what next? Anger!

      I think there’s a lesson here for young players, because tomorrow, without their own making, their career may actually depend on the same manager they have insulted who is now the manager of a team they could be sold to or they could play in. What happens then? A feast of crow feet? I mean, players can learn from the career of Samuel Eto’o who was one of the arrowheads of the Barcelona attack against Mourinho in 2005. Do you remember all the insults Eto’o heaped on Mourinho then and how he even claimed after we beat them that a Chelsea steward called him “monkey-shit”, which had the whole UEFA investigative machinery after us only for them to see that there was no iota of evidence to support this? Do you remember how he promised to make Mourinho live in regret? But fast-forward five years later, the same Eto’o was playing for Mourinho in the all-conquering Inter team and there he was gushingly praising Mourinho as the best coach and the best person he’s ever met, because of his bluntness, honesty and vast knowledge of the game and how it was personally tough for him parting with Mourinho! Of course, Eto’o is lucky that Mourinho isn’t one to hold grudges. But if young players are watching they should know that there are two things players must steer clear of – managers’ squabbles and the internal affairs of rival teams. But these daft Barcelona boys don’t know that!

      Real fans of Madrid know what Mourinho has achieved for them in three years. Apart from the Cups he won, he won them the title in record fashion. He’s returned them to the top of the European game with three consecutive semi-final qualifications, something they haven’t achieved in more than a decade. He broke the Barcelona hegemony by establishing a consistent culture of beating them home and away. True followers of football and its underlying politics know that only a bold person would take on the openly tribal and agenda-driven Spanish football press that is part of the problem of the game in that country and even a bolder one that would confront the prima donna culture in the dressing-rooms of the elite clubs.

      Mourinho does not suffer fools gladly. Because he does his work honestly and demands of himself more than he demands of his players, truants cannot challenge his coaching or methods, they can only complain about his ‘attitude’! Well, it’s obvious now who is feeling the pinch. Let them moan in Catalonia. Mourinho will shut them all up when the season resumes. And if Chelsea meet either Madrid or Barcelona or both in any competition this coming season, they will know what they are up against. They will see exactly what it means to be rubbished!

      ..

  • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

    Dutch football folk reporting Marco Van Ginkel to Chelsea is pretty much a done deal. Don’t know much about the lad but he’s getting a lot of praise for his performances in the U-21 champs. £8m or thereabouts.

  • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

    Here’s a link to the full transcript of the second press conference that Mourinho did with the print hacks yesterday.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/chelsea/10111524/Jose-Mourinho-returns-to-Chelsea-the-full-transcript.html

    No major revelations, but it’s a bit more enlightening than the one for the TV folk.

    • Blueboydave

      Thanks for the link – as you say, at least a smidgeon of more interesting comments.

      I must admit I seldom bother with the regular live streaming of the TV/radio pre-game press conferences anymore. They have become a dire catalogue of boring questions to which a succession of managers have batted back equally boring answers, which might as well have been delivered by the PR suit sitting next to them.

      The only exception was Carlo Ancelotti. Once he became comfortable speaking in public in English [which didn't take long] he regularly used to exercise his dry wit to liven up the occasions and even offered genuine information about team selection/ player injuries, rather than Lord Ferg-like clouds of obfuscation.

      I did like Jose’s throwaway quip in the first conference though, about now having a squad of 60, with our 20 new signings the media have announced in the last few days.

      • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

        Yes, watched it just to see what would transpire seeing as it was a return rather than an introduction, but it was all very much by the book. I expect Jose will throw a few more interesting nuggets thrown at the press in the future, but you’re right that they are generally pretty straight these days.

  • GrocerJack

    A season review has been submitted to our Dear Leader. It’s a long article, but then again it was a long season.

    • Cunningplan

      If it’s that long Tony, does it require beer and snacks to get through it?

      • GrocerJack

        Oh yes, plus some reading glasses (for a certain age)

    • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser

      *empties diary, buys popcorn*

  • http://www.chelseafcblog.com Der_Kaiser