The thing is, I refuse to be educated about football. When a pundit on TV starts talking about the technical side of the game, I am lost (note: this is normally Lee Dixon. Alan Hansen hasn’t made a technical observation since 1996). At some point the pundit will talk about the distance between the centre-halves, or the empty space between the back four and the midfield, and my mind starts to drift onto what I’m having for dinner, or just why the final series of LOST was so very disappointing. Basically, when football pundits talk about tactics, all I hear is that buzzing noise the teacher makes in Peanuts cartoons.