Chelsea 4-0 Portsmouth – A Few Tweets and Some Match Reports

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The tweets

The first half

chelseafc: The game is underway. Portsmouth kick-off. Chelsea attacking the Shed End.

BluesChronicle: Early chance to Pompey: Kitson shoots across goal. Both ends of the ground on their feet and singing.

BluesChronicle: JT has just slipped-up twice in his own half in the space of 30 seconds. Takes a look at his studs. Perhaps needs a change of footwear?

BluesChronicle: Lots of heads up in the Portsmouth box for a Bosingwa cross, but it’s too high for Lampard to connect with.

BluesChronicle: Big shout for a Torres penalty, but the ref says no. Looked like a soft one to be honest.

chelseafc: Diving save from Henderson keeps out good Torres header from a Malouda cross. It remains goalless.

BluesChronicle: An even opening 20 at The Bridge. Chelsea the better going forward. Best chance went to Torres, who was very close to breaking the deadlock.

BluesChronicle: Off the ball incident between Mokoena & Torres sees Chelsea man hit the floor. Nando has a few words for both player and ref. But no action.

BluesChronicle: Some pretty big lads in this Pompey side: Marko Futacs, in particular, looks like he could high-five most of Row Z.

chelseafc: 25 mins gone and the saved Torres header remains the best moment for Chelsea so far. It’s 0-0.

BluesChronicle: Ramires having a boot-change during a quick time-out. Chelsea’s most influential midfielder has been a bit AWOL today.

BluesChronicle: Torres plays a bit of keepy-uppy, then skins Pearce approaching the Pompey box. Pearce reacts, and gets a yellow. Great move, Fernando.

BluesChronicle: Malouda becomes the filling in a Portsmouth-defence-sandwich and, inexplicably, gets a yellow card for his efforts.

BluesChronicle: Not a vintage contest at Stamford Bridge. Pompey obstructing Chelsea’s ocasional forward moves. Probably a ‘medium low block’ or something.

BluesChronicle: HT: Chelsea 0-0 Portsmouth. Frank Sinclair once said: “If that game was being played in my back garden I’d close my curtains.” Applies here.

ChelseaAnalysis: HT: Chelsea 0-0 Portsmouth. Torres and David Luiz looking very sharp today.

BluesChronicle: That Sinclair quote I tweeted. He did actually say it; however it has been pointed out that Bill Shankly said it first. Still applies here.

The second half

BluesChronicle: Second half under-way at Stamford Bridge: Chelsea 0-0 Portsmouth. All Blues need here is an extra yard of pace. Surely they must have that?

BluesChronicle: GOOOOOOAAAAALLLL! CHELSEA 1-0 PORTSMOUTH. JUAN MATA!

chelseafc: Less than 2 mins to take lead after the restart. Malouda attacking down the left and teeing up Mata for a tap in from five yards out.

Goal: 48′ Chelsea 1-0 Portsmouth – Juan Mata

OptaJoe: 6 – All six of Juan Mata’s goals for Chelsea have been scored at Stamford Bridge. District.

BluesChronicle: Danger moment: Luiz loses ball; a first shot saved by Cech; JT moves to cover & heads off the line at knee height; then Cech saves a third.

chelseafc: Heroics from JT, clearing Ward’s header off the line after Cech had saved Futacs’s shot. The skipper is injured though.

BluesChronicle: The Blues captain back on the pitch, treading gingerly on one foot. The crowd sings: “John Terry, John Terry.”

BluesChronicle: Bosingwa delivers a pass into the box, which provokes a man in the East Lower to scream: “LOVELY BALL!” Nobody there to knock it in.

BluesChronicle: Chelsea have turned up the intensity since the break: but only to a 4 or 5 out of 10. Never comfortable at 1-0, Blues really need another.

chelseafc: Midway through 2nd half and still 1-0 up. A tame Ramires header the best attempt on goal since the JT clearance.

ChelseaAnalysis: It would be a good time to bring Josh McEachran on. Freshen things up in the midfield.

BluesChronicle: Pompey, for about the first time, starting to unsettle the Blues defence. Hate to say it, but the word ‘replay’ is coming to mind.

chelseafc: Romeu on for Malouda on 77 mins in the first Chelsea change. Still 1-0 up.

BluesChronicle: Chelsea sub: Romeu on for Malouda. Chelsea, a team who want to win the CL, and going defensive against Championship strugglers Pompey.

AndrewTurmer: Wow. Parking the bus and hanging on against mighty Portsmouth! Bring on Barca…

BluesChronicle: GOOOOAAAALLL! CHELSEA 2-0 PORTSMOUTH. RAMIRES.

BluesChronicle: Chelsea 2-0 Portsmouth: Mata from the left, headed on by Torres, put in the net by Ramires. Chelsea sub: Bertrand on for Cole.

Goal: 85′ Chelsea 2-0 Portsmouth – Ramires

BluesChronicle: GOOOOAAAAALLLLL! CHELSEA 3-0 PORTSMOUTH. RAMIRES!

BluesChronicle: Chelsea 3-0 Portsmouth: Ramires goes on one of those Forest Gump runs that just goes on and on. Chips it over the keeper. Job done.

Goal: 87′ Chelsea 3-0 Portsmouth – Ramires

BluesChronicle: Chelsea sub: Lukaku on for Torres.

peter_watts: Ramires is such a good player. Would improve any midfield in Premier League.

DKDickson: Another couple of assists for Torres. Favourite this, because no bugger will report it.

BluesChronicle: GOOOOAAAALLLLL! CHELSEA 4-0 PORTSMOUTH. LAMPARD!

BluesChronicle: Chelsea 4-0 Portsmouth: classic Lampard, Last to arrive at the box, perfectly timed to welly it in.

Goal: 90+3′ Chelsea 4-0 Portsmouth – Frank Lampard

BluesChronicle: FT: Chelsea 4-0 Portsmouth. Jittery and unconvincing for 80 mins. Well on-top for 10. Goals from: Mata, Ramires 2, Lampard.

chelseayouth: Scoreline slightly flattering, just had more stamina. Won a game we should’ve won, looked ordinary for most of the first half. Nobody poor.

The match reports

The Guardian, David Hytner: “Chelsea cannot pick and choose the trophies that they chase, and the FA Cup is one that Villas-Boas wants to win. They remain alive, after a performance that came to the boil in dramatic fashion, after Juan Mata’s sixth goal for the club had, for much of the second half, looked likely to be sufficient. Three goals in the final five minutes gave the scoreline an unfortunate appearance for Portsmouth, who had been a match for their hosts while never truly threatening to get a result. Ramires’s one-two punch was stunning and it brought the seventh and eighth goals of his season, with Fernando Torres claiming both of the assists.”

The Independent, Jack Pitt-Brooke: “For 85 minutes, Chelsea struggled to overcome a resilient and determined Portsmouth side, despite Juan Mata’s goal straight after the break. Ramires, one of the most effective players late on in games in the division, scored twice in the last five minutes, and Frank Lampard scored in stoppage time. But before then Chelsea had been well-matched.”

The Official Chelsea FC Website: “Three goals inside the last 10 minutes made the win look more comfortable that it was but a powerful second-half display saw the Blues safely through the third round for the 14th year in a row. Juan Mata with his sixth goal of the season put his side ahead shortly after the interval and Ramires netted his seventh and eighth, both set up by Fernando Torres. For the second game running Frank Lampard scored late on to take him to 180 career goals for the club.”




There are 67 comments

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  1. Anonymous

    Nothing to add as didn’t watch it, other than my disagreement at the first sub. Crying out for Josh, why the hell did we need to go so defensive.

    As someone tweeted above, parked the bus and hanging on against Portsmouth. I bet the CL opponents are bricking it….

  2. Ryan

    I’m not 100% sure why Josh isn’t getting more chances but I do suspect there is an element of protecting him. AVB had no problem bringing Romeu into the fold but physically he is so different to Josh. I hear lots of people who want to see Josh play and that is perfectly understandable. He will become the best thing to come out of the academy since JT. But there is no hurry. From what I hear the players and coaches see him as being technically first-class so I can only assume they feel he isn’t physically ready for regular starts.

    It’s important not to underestimate the importance of the experience that a young player gains just by being on the bench and in and around the first team set-up. Josh will benefit immensely from the apprenticeship he is serving this season. I can’t wait to see him develop into a world class midfielder.

  3. Benjami

    Portsmouth were unlucky, they should have scored in the first mins and in that scramble when we were 1-0 up (that was caused by Luiz messing with the ball when he should just have smacked it clear :P).

    Was a terrible first half, we played so slow and everyone was jeering Malouda when he kept messing up crosses etc.

    In the 2nd half we came out fired up and really upped the tempo, however we still looked average vs a poor side.
    Meireles and Lamps played ok and Ramires really came into his own when Portsmouth tired (hence all the goals in last 5mins.Defence looked a bit scary and dodgy as usual 😛

    Our attack is so impotent still, for me a Torres of a few seasons ago would have been able to make something from nothing, but he just can’t any more. We all expect it to be handed to him by Mata et al but sometimes a forward should just stand up for himself, which he still hasn’t done.

    Mata distributes the play great but already it feels there is so much weight on his shoulders to create, all a team has to do is lock him out and overwhelm our midfield and it is game over.

    But we did win 4-0 so who can complain really 😀

    • Anonymous

      I agree, our tempo was far too slow.  It seems that we can only play with a high tempo when we’re pegged back to 1-1 with 10 minutes to go.  I almost fell asleep first half.

      4-0 was flattering.  David Luiz performed some entertaining cameos second half down by my corner flag.

  4. NorthernVA

    Benjami thanks for your insight on the game. It wasn’t shown over here so I was thankfully able to catch up on sleep.

    I have seen some criticism regarding the team selection. I personally like the fact that we actually take the competition seriously. We have been rightfully rewarded for it in recent history. You can criticize the manager on the set-up of our defense, our attack, possibly man management however to have a go about selecting a strong team for an FA Cup tie is ridiculous.

    If Fergie is the gold standard in management look at the team he fielded today against City. Did he field their starlets in Morrison and Pogba. No he had Giggs (38) and also brought on Paul “I was just pulling your chain with that whole testimonial” Scholes (37). I hope this serves as somewhat of a lesson as to how tough it is to replace great players. 

    Sometimes having the original at half of their previous heights is better than the alternative in the short term. Don’t take that as an appeal to not make changes. Players will move on and at this point in some cases I think it is all for the best. I do however stand firm in my belief that it has been handled poorly. Can anyone honestly say that the senior players Mike Ashley moved on at Newcastle really are on par with our senior players in regards to quality and contributions. Well we do know that Joey rates himself above Lampard but I doubt most rational folk would. 

    Some of the online batterings players like Lamps, JT, Cech, Drogs have received has been a bit of a revelation. We got some real, , cunts that supposedly support CFC. This is not in reference to anyone who post here although Mark please refrain from further comments about your Speedos. It was these very players that held the club together over some pretty rough waters not of their own making. If they did have the power most claimed Jose would still be the manager. Joni said it best, “You don’t know what you got ’till it’s gone.” 

  5. Ryan

    I listened to the game on the radio (well CTV commentary actually) and apart from the fact that they don’t actually tell you what is happening (very little “Lampard to Malouda out wide, Malouda crosses for Torres, cleared by whoever etc.) it was quite insightful for the running analysis. Which basically amounted to “the midfield lacks any sort of ideas or creativity” “the midfield is unwilling or unable to move the ball on quickly enough to create problems for Portsmouth’s 8 man defence, preferring to take 3 or 4 touches before playing a pretty obvious short pass”. These two thing are fairly obvious to any Chelsea supporter (along with the fact that we need a proper RB who can attack but still considers themselves part of the back four when defending).

    I was pleased to see Rami and Lamps scoring at the end (naturally) and it’s great that they’re getting goals from midfield but their goal tallies worry me a little (bear with me here). It seems that rather than creating chances for their forwards they’re more inclined to get forward into scoring positions themselves. Frank has always done this. Yes his 20 goals a season have been absolutely invaluable but he has never been a creative midfielder. An attacking one yes but not creative. I personally think that this is why he hasn’t been starting, along with the fact that he and Rami appear to be playing a pretty similar role. Both lack the guile of a Xavi, Iniesta, Modric type player more suited to creating chances and orchestrating from midfield than bombing on and scoring themselves. Anyway what I’m trying to say, in a long winded roundabout sort of way is that the midfield looks unbalanced with Frank and Rami both in it (regardless of who is holding, although Mikel’s anti-creative, slow play exacerbates the problem most). It’s not a criticism of either player just an observation that they’ve become more similar than I previously realised and it has a real impact on our creativity.

    I would like, at some point, to see Mata brought into the centre of midfield or possibly just playing in behind Torres. He doesn’t look entirely suited to playing out wide to me, he lacks the lightening pace to be an out and out winger and the defensive element (helping out his full back essentially) of that role is unnatural and unhelpful to his game. I think this hasn’t helped our defence this season. Neither Studge or Mata are adept at tracking back and defending when we lose the ball, consequently our full-backs are often exposed in one against one situations or by the cross-field ball. Just another example of our side looking a little unbalanced. I still maintain Mata can become our David Silva. He has already done more this year than DS did in his first year at City. When he becomes fully accustomed to the PL he will be huge for us. Compare for example DS’s tracking back, tackling and strength this year with last year. He has moved on immensely and I’m sure JM will do similar. On top of that he’s a very intelligent and level-headed young man. These attributes are invaluable in a top-class footballer.

    • Anonymous

      Ryan, you are raising very important points here. I actually said it more than couple of times on this blog that our lack of penetration was compensated by Drog’s physical abilities to out muscle defenders. It is Jose’s inheritance and over reliance on long ball we are still nursing. Take a look  on our goals; second and third created by Torres 🙂 and not vice verse. With Mata’s and Ramires arrival situation has changed a little, but yet again when we Lamps and malouda on the pitch our in ability to create whatsoever is simply magnified!!!! Our strikers feeding midfielders!     

  6. Ryan

    Did you notice Torres little rueful shake of the head after Rami’s second. I sort of interpreted that as “Christ if they were creating the chances for me that I’m creating for them I might actually be able to remember the last time I scored a goal!”

    Obviously it’s a team game and it doesn’t matter who scores but it is indicative of our lack of creativity that it’s Lamps and Rami feeding off of Torres’ assists rather than vice-versa. This is ok but really you want chances being created by your midfielders who should dominate, orchestrate and pull the strings for your best finishers (hopefully) to score. Maybe against weaker teams it’s not such a problem. Against Spurs however Rami had two gilt-edged chances. If they’d fallen to a good striker we’d have won that game. In big matches taking one or two chances is often the difference unless someone produces something extraordinary.

    It’s important to note that, if we forget what the gutter press like to invent, Lamps is being kept on the bench essentially because Ramires is having a good season emulating what Frank has done previously. Dropping Rami for Frank is a less attractive option because Rami has the legs to get up and down for 90 minutes and Frank probably can’t maintain those energy levels now (it was never really his game anyway to be fair).

    What AVB is learning this season will be invaluable in the coming years. He either made a mistake in judging the current squad as good enough for what Roman wants to achieve or realized he couldn’t make all the necessary changes in one short summer and felt that it would be best not to undermine the squad by criticizing too much early on. Interesting to note that recently he has said the squad isn’t good enough. So he has either gradually formed that opinion or thought that all along and is saying so now he is in a position to recruit. Essentially we are a work in progress with a couple of square pegs in round holes and a couple that will become squad players (Mikel, Malouda, Lamps, Bosingwa) or move on if they want more regular starts.

    • Anonymous

      Just one notice. I don’t think that AVB made a mistake I think he (as you pointed out) can’t change 5-6 players in one summer. This is probably why it is 3 years project. First year to change the squad and then start to show results. 

  7. David Drabble

    Good result, and some nice performances up front. Surprising quite how selfless Torres has become – a very good team player considering the price tag and constant media pressure to score goals. 4 goals and 7 assists for the season now, he’s no RVP but considering he’s not started in around half our goals that is a decent return and he’s performed much better this year than under Carlo. Also it’s great that he’s been uninjured for over 12 months – kudos to the Chelsea medical department!

    Just to say on Josh – not playing him meant he wouldn’t be cup tied if he went on loan. I imagine Brenden Rogers would appreciate the gesture even if we don’t.

  8. Anonymous

    Have to say I didn’t feel much of that proverbial Magic of the Cup at The Bridge yesterday.

    The crowd around me was the usual mixture of young kids and non-regulars now standard for these occasions, but there was a pretty jaded and subdued atmosphere. They couldn’t even be bothered to indulge in lots of the mobile phone picture taking that usually absorbs them so much.

    The game was 85 minutes of our all too familiar toilsome stuff, followed by 5 minutes of demolishing tiring opponents at the end.

    All a bit sad given that we had out arguably our strongest team available given ACN and injuries. Does bringing on Bertrand and Lukaku in the last 10 minutes count as giving the youngsters an opportunity to gain experience in the domestic cups?

    • Cunningplan

      As much as I like the FA cup, I don’t think it carries the same kudos, or excitement as it did when I was growing up.
      Lets be honest since the advent of Sky TV, and the internet, we’ve had a huge overdose of football over the years. I remember the days of Ceefax updating the scores every ten mins or so to know what your team was doing.

      I read a comment yesterday about how the FA cup meant sooo much to City, and Utd, by the way they were playing.
      I think they probably overlooked the even more intense rivalry, and dislike the two teams have for each other now, that game would have been played exactly the same if it had been the LDV VAN trophy (or whatever it’s called today) third round.

    • Anonymous

      You should have come and sat next to me.  The bloke in front was taking endless photos including the underside of the West stand roof.

      And I couldn’t be arsed to tap him on the shoulder and advise him to turn off his flash, which has a range of about 10ft, and will hinder taking photos of Boswinga on the opposite side of the pitch 75 yards away.  In fact I was close to whipping out my 10inch zoom and beating him round the head with it.

  9. bluebayou

    Junior Bayou (aged nearly 8 in man years) was with me at the Villa game. As the third Villa goal went in he had assumed that as everyone else was leaving so should we, until the wise counsel of his father convinced him that a proper Chelsea bloke stays to the end because we take the good with the bad and stick with the lads when they’re struggling just as we celebrate with them when they’re winning.

    I little appreciated the depth of the Villa trauma for the poor chap until the 89th minute yesterday, when at 3-0 they announced 3 minutes of added time. He turned to me and enquired as to whether I thought the game was in the bag. He obviously understands the kind of genetic material that runs through Chelsea, despite his football consciousness having only grown in years of relative success.

    To his young mind, his beloved team were quite capable of chucking away a three goal lead in about 5 minutes. I explained that while we’re far from top form, even David Luiz on a bad day might struggle to give it away that quickly.

    Then the fourth one went in and he relaxed.

    We were in the East Stand yesterday and he kept watching the screen rather than the pitch (our location at the Villa game meant he couldn’t see the Shed End screen and the new one at the Matthew Harding was not yet up). I pointed out that we could have have stayed at home and watched it on a screen and then realised that maybe we couldn’t but he got my drift. He responded that he was too worried to watch the pitch (it was only 1-0 at this point).

    I assume that somehow he understands that most of what he sees on TV is unreal (he has yet to be exposed to the joys of “reality” TV) and that if Portsmouth scored on the screen in some way that might not count as much as if he saw them do it in real life on the pitch.

    As to the game itself. We struggle on. I still don’t like the defensive shape.

    I was pleased for Malouda. Shades of the sort of goals he set up in the Double Year. I tend to agree with those who’d like to see Mata more central. When teams come and sit it really does come down to high tempo and good close short range passing on the edge of the box, or very quck transition when the opposition do venture out and lose the ball. Yesterday so little of either particulalry in the first half. Late in the second half they did start moving the nball quickly into space as Portsmouth tired.

    It is of course stating the obvious that sometimes against a disciplined defence it is all about working them constantly so that they fade in the last 10 to 15 minutes. It’s all about creating fatigue early enough to get time to win the game, while not doing anything daft yourselves.

    In the end they created the fatigue. The daft? Well………….if you weren’t there it’s pointless upsetting you.

    And finally………….

    Note to hapless radio interviewer (I think I heard this on Radio London)

    When interviewing a man (dear Robbie) who’s career was brutally shortened by a bad leg break, is it really wise to cherrfully enquire as to whether he’s thinking about coming out of retirement like Paul Scholes.

    A little sensitivity perhaps? Or maybe you didn’t really have a clue who the f**k you were talking to.

      • bluebayou

        I may be wrong but I believe that whenever Van Gogh and his wife stayed in a hotel they were always offered the bridal.

        It’s because his wife couldn’t hang onto his ears……………

        I’ll get my smock. 

  10. Anonymous

    We’re going to sell Kalou to Arsenal for £3m? Really, Daily Mail? REALLY?

    I know it’s not a real newspaper but, even as far as made up stories go, that takes some beating. Bravo.

  11. Anonymous

    I’m now convinced the sports pages hacks are running a competition for the most outlandish transfer window story published.

    In the last few days since the “Lamps to Man U” story we’ve had:

    Citeh to Bid £60m for Rooney

    Lamps Free to Move Abroad; and

    Lamps to return to West Ham.

    I rest my case, m’lud.

    • Ryan

      Chelsea have bid £35million for Angel di Maria if Marca are to be believed. Don’t know if this is an outrageous rumour, it’s been redressed by the Mirror. Apparently a top PL club have made a bid and supposedly it’s Chelsea. I can’t see it happening really. He’s one of their best players in my opinion. He is currently unhappy about a pay rise that hasn’t been forthcoming but I expect he’ll get his pay rise and stay at Madrid. I’d love to see him at Chelsea though.

      Is the Cahill deal actually going to happen now? It seems to be dragging a bit. Any ideas?

  12. bluebayou

    Talking of ridiculous rumours, the quip I saw yesterday on someone’s twitter (can’t remember who), which referred to Rooney’s hair transplant being on the move to either Barnet or Wigan made me laugh.

    The reference to the City v United game being a great advert for the Europa League was also very good.

  13. Ryan

    Ok I did a quick google search and… Di Maria is earning £1.5million a year while Higuain is on double that and Ronaldo and Kaka are on £9million a year. So he would be one of their lowest earning stars I guess. Could be that we’re being used as a pawn to get him his pay-rise. Could be that he is genuinely fucked off with RM if he feels he is being under-valued and they aren’t prepared to improve his contract. Still I doubt they’d sell to us regardless, especially in January.

  14. Der_Kaiser

    Can’t recall where I read it (may have even been a comment on here) and don’t know whether it is true or not, but isn’t the Spanish government planning to crank up the tax rate for high-earning foreign nationals?  Think it makes our 50% rate look attractive from what I can recall.  Might be the reason that the rumour mill is starting to twitch in Madrid.

    • bluebayou

      Heard someone from what I would assume was a right of centre publication whittering on the Today programme about how Britain’s high taxes have resulted in Billionaires being driven to Monaco.

      You’d think the buggers would pay for their own transport wouldn’t you………

      I’ll get my cloth cap and whippet

      • Cunningplan

        That’s the second poor joke in as many days, I feel the need for yellow and red cars on this blog for posters. And by my count that’s two yellows for you BB, with an automatic suspension for 3 days.

        Of course you could appeal to our blog kangaroo court, but I think you’d have a far better chance overturning the ban, by pleading directly to the FA.

          • Cunningplan

            What do you mean cars? the d was always there. 😉

            Do minor errors constitute a ban as well? I might fall on my sword here.

        • bluebayou

          “That’s the second poor joke in as many days”

          And who made you the arbiter of what qualifies as good and poor jokes then?

          Using some arbitary and ill thought through personal opinion and parading it as a consensual, impirical measure is a bit rich.

          I bet thousands of visitors to this blog have had their day lightened and their all round health improved by a good, rib-tickling laugh, delivered by my razor wit, sharp observation and all round bonhomie.

          Even now I’m sure they are just queing up to leap to my defence. Or they will do once they get home from work, have some tea/dinner/supper (select as per appropriate cultural/social grouping) and watched some telly or done homework, housework, been out on the piss, whatever it is people do.

          And yet you would deprive them of what little light relief, what crumbs of solace they can garner from efforts such as mine as we struggle through the slough of despond (that’s the stop before Maidenhead)?

          You are a bounder and a cad sir and I will have satisfaction!

          (Swipes Mr C Plan across the chops with a cyber glove. Storms off stage left.)

          (Comes back)

          And yes falling on your sword will save you from the cold steel of my blade….or were we using pistols or will we settle on conkers, but no cheesers or baking them in vinager.?

          • Cunningplan

            I don’t think conkers are allowed in the playground anymore due to “elf and safety”, but you can have the sword if you want, I’ll take the PISStol.

  15. Anonymous

    Following the recent run of iffy jokes and typos, in the spirit of some of our bloggers, I’d just like to say — there’s no room for sentiment, we’re all lazy useless old bloggers whose time is up, sack the lot of us (and Nick of course who has to be held responsible no matter what the standards of the blog may have been in previous seasons) and spend whatever it takes to get in some hungry new bloggers who are funny and can type.

  16. Anonymous

    Personally I think it’s a great joke, and the play on words is in the same vein as my two favourite comedians, Tim Vine and Milton Jones.

  17. Anonymous

    So Alex off to QPR (club confirm offer been made) and no sign of Cahill.

    I’m assuming JT or Luiz will get injure in training tomorrow leaving us massively short of CBs for the weekend.

    WTF is going on with Cahill?

    • bluebayou

      Once a fee had been agreed it was down to personal terms and that didn’t get wrapped up straightaway. Then you had ‘Arry and his scout turning up to Bolton away at Everton on Jan 4th. Ostensibly to watch Everton? Maybe. Then Man U are suddenly interested as Phil Jones has 2 bad games in a row.

      So was that just media nonsense or was there a bit of desperate agent led hawking around to either get him a deal with another club ‘cuase Chelsea weren’t offering enough or to pressure Chelsea into paying a bigger weekly wedge?

      If £50K is what he’s signing for then perhaps he’s been convinced he was worth a lot more. or his agent feels he should be getting more.

      Who knows.

      And I’m starting a campaign for footballer’s remuneration to be quoted in annual figures. To pretend that there is some real life comparison between footballers and working persons is now a myth. It reflects negatively on both sides. And a greater proportion of people are now paid monthly. And the very low paid have to think in terms of hourly rate and the minimum wage.

      No, footballers should have their earnings quoted in annual figures, the better to understand just how much lots of other people are creaming out of the economy for very little effort. You may not agree with the money being paid but they don’t sit on committees awarding themselves ever bigger chunks of money do they?

      Cahill may sign for £2.6 million a year, but luck, the ability to bullshit, being bordeline sociopathic and being able to walk straight into a better position after performing poorly week in week out is not a luxury that comes to many footballers (Winston being an exception). It is however fairly commonplace in too many other walks of life.

      And just to make MR C Plan’s day…….

      When will scousers stop getting excited over just one leg? Did they learn nothing from their own Paul McCartney?

      • Anonymous

        If a football clubs is a private business then salaries have got nothing to do with us.  If Roman wants to pay someone £60gzillion squid that’s between him and the player.

        • bluebayou

          Of course he can, until the FFP rules make that more dificult.

          But that’s not my point. It was a half serious stab at this business of talking about footballers “wages” in weekly terms as though they were still engaged in some sort of working man’s toil.

          On the one hand it fails to take into account that at the top level of football their earnings and lifestyle mean they are far removed from the everyday working person and on the other it means that there is a remaining snobbery about these men, not just in comparison to top earning people in other walks of life who may be more educated or have a backgound from a higher social class, but to other persons in film, music or other branches of entertainment who might share similar background.

          To my mind it is a way of demeaning them and reflects an uneasiness about how we treat those who have a set of skills that are not easily reproducible by most in society and that many of us value highly.

          But at the same time we ourselves are not confident about prizing something that is not perhaps seen to have the same value as art, film or music, but brings such great rewards.

          We can happily trash the beneficiaries of talentless celebrity but footballers? Not quite the same.

          I will now be unavailable for a short period as a team of highly paid surgeons conduct a search for me in the area of my own rectal region with a view to at least removing my head from there.

          • Der_Kaiser

            It is all a bit patronising towards the players.  The obsession with their wages (and how they are expressed) is definitely rooted in outdated class prejudice – and more specifically, jealousy, in my ‘umble opinion.  Folk seem to get very uppity when they see someone they perceive as ‘thick’ carrying home piles of money for something supposedly so trivial.

          • WorkingClassPost

            “I thought in Corporate Banknig you had someone to carry your money home for you in the spare 4×4?”

            Correct, but it was always to somebody else’s home and in someone else’s 4×4.

          • Anonymous

            I’ve always been of the opinion that it is stated in weekly terms because it sounds more. Fifty grand a week (in my mind at least) sounds more than £2.6 million a year. There are some CEO’s who earn similar amounts yet you never hear of their salary being calculated on a weekly basis.

    • Austin Solari

      He was impressive enough when he first appeared but then he seemed to fall foul of the in place manager at the time’s fear of playing youngsters. I don’t think he has ever been given a chance really.

  18. bluebayou

    And well done to the yoof for getting through in the Cup against Norwich, even if it took penalties (’cause we an never have enough practice at those)

  19. Ryan

    We are “in talks” with Lille to sign Eden Hazard for £30million. Definition of “in talks”… we say “any chance of buying the lad for £30million next week?” they say “Non”.

    This one could be like the di Maria story. Great if it’s true but I’m not sold on it. Sure they’ll sell him eventually but not this month and no guarantee he would come to us if RM came calling in the summer.

    I’m glad we’re targeting this sort of player but whether we are likely to sign them in the next 19 days is questionable in the extreme. It’s been 14 days since Bolton accepted our bid for Cahill and we still haven’t got him.

  20. NorthernVA

    CP are you Chris Foy in disguise 🙂 How dare you red card a man who comes up with a comment like this:

    “When will scousers stop getting excited over just one leg? Did they learn nothing from their own Paul McCartney?”

    I nominate BB for the blogger Balllon D’Or! Lock it up and take away the key. Der Kaiser and Mark with much due respect I must say that the bar has officially been elevated.

    • Cunningplan

      Comedy is so subjective, just like the the match report scoring of our players. 😉

      On saying that, that was a funny comment from BB, one of his best, but I didn’t want to encourage him.

  21. bluebayou

    While I haven’t got a woolly coat, live in a field or eat grass, I am feeling a bit sheepish.

    I can’t claim credit for the scouser joke. It was texted to me by my sister, who actually supports Liverpool. I did rework it to make it a little snappier but no more than that.

    • Cunningplan

      So you were cheating? it’s a bit like a footballer diving, worthy of a yellow card.
      So I make that three yellows for you BB, but still no sending off.
      Perhaps that makes me the Graham Poll of referees and not Chris Foy. 😉

      • bluebayou

        Given that I undertook a little re-editing I would call it embellishment rather than diving. And yes I consider myself lucky to still be on the pitch.

  22. John

    Sorry late comment following on BB’s point about how salaries are expressed (but loved the scouser joke) – I would also remind us that the admirable Martin Samuel is the only journalist I’ve seen make the point that, though Terry gets c£150k a week he’s at least resident here and paying a hefty chunk in UK tax, unlike the people in other sports who earn more and go into tax exile yet remain the darlings of the media – eg Lewis Hamilton. I’m sure the players have accountants and schemes which minimise their tax liability, but it’s still a good point that gets lost in all this hypocritical bollocks.

  23. bluebayou

    Going forward, as your management types like to say, it is best if I am percieved as an individual singularly unencumbered by original thought and this will avoid further embarrassment and concerns over plagiarism.

    On a more serious note, just as Lucielle picked a fine time to leave her man with 400 children and a crop in the field (cf Kenny Rodgers), this is a far from fine time to be taking on Sunderland who have recovered a bit of form under Mr O’Neil. Despite the fact that we did smash his Villa side eleventy – nil or something a couple of years back, I always feel uneasy playing his teams.

    I’m never sure if we’ve fully paid him for Erland’s “stumble” in the semi against Leicester back in the day, or is there more to come?


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